So my mom is always coming in my room during the night, and she'll drunkenly yell at me that my life is unhealthy and shit because I've been enjoying sleeping in and having a more lenient schedule since I stopped having the lovely school hours of getting up at 5 am to get to practice at 6 and not leaving until 4:30-7:00 pm depending on the day, and she comes in shouting then when I make a comment about sorry, I'm trying, but I'm not Ashdod at this as my sister, she insists that she loves me and doesn't see me as a disappointment, but that my life is just shit and that it clearly has to do with my low self esteem and nothing else (none of this has to do with her causing issues of course) and then starts crying and acting all sorts of upset to guilt me, and she also tried to guilt me a few times by making comments about how I ow her for taking care of me and her putting up with the aftermath of my being raped, and all the emotional damage it did to her seeing me upset.