When to tell our parents!?

Question

Hi!
I just had my first ultrasound today, which showed I am 5 weeks and 1 day along. This is my first pregnancy, so this is all new to me. Once I got pregnant I thought I would want to wait until I'm at least 8 or 9 weeks to tell my in-laws, then as it became more real I thought as soon as we hear the heartbeat. Since I'm less than 6 weeks, we didn't get to see/hear the heartbeat yet. This weekend is my in-laws 40th Wedding Anniversary and I am now thinking that it would be such a wonderful surprise to tell them when we get together to celebrate, but is it way too early? I'm really close with them and I want to share our excitement with them and I want to assume this will be a healthy full-term pregnancy, but I also understand that a lot can happen in the next few weeks/months. I don't want to tell them, then have to break sad news. Also, I would ask them not to tell anyone else until I'm 12 weeks, is it fair to ask them to keep quiet for 7 whole weeks!? My husband says he is fine with whatever I'm comfortable with doing. Would love advice.

Answer

We decided to tell our parents this weekend (6 weeks today) because we're excited to celebrate with them. We know that if anything bad does happen, they will be there for us in any way we need.

Answer

My husband and I told our parents right after I took a pregnancy test. I haven't even been to the doctor yet lol (I go Monday!) but we asked them not to say anything until we tell everyone else closer to 12 weeks. We couldn't keep the secret from our parents and God forbid if something happens we would want their love and support. I'm praying for a sticky baby for you!! ❤️

Answer

You're really thinking it through, and that's very considerate. I can tell that you're bursting with joy, and that you want to share it, but don't want to risk disappointment. I think everyone balances this decision. One thing I've heard, and I think is really valuable, is that if you would want someone there for you if, God forbid, you had a loss, or you would confide in them as you faced a difficult time, then telling them makes sense. Like if I were to miscarry I'd want to call my mom and sisters to talk, be there for me, help me around the house for a few days, etc. People close to you may be sad, but they most likely will try to be strong for you because they understand that it's hardest on the parents.

All that aside, you will most likely have a healthy, full term exciting pregnancy! And because that is the case, I just wanted to make one personal observation/ suggestion. If you tell your in-laws they are becoming grandparents, that is most likely the most exciting and important news of the year! So if they are celebrating a 40th anniversary, I actually think it's a little unfair to tell them until that is over. They will probably think and talk and plan and giggle and dote over the news, you and the belly, and they should! Maybe give them their moment to concentrate on themselves before giving them the news. I revealed my daughter's pregnancy around my moms 60th birthday, but I waited until after her surprise party and birthday dinner, so she could fully enjoy her fun and everyone wasn't talking about the baby. When a new baby is announced it sort of takes over, lol.

Answer

I have been around a lot of people who have had miscarriages in the last few years. My mom has had several, my sister in law had 2, my bff's sister's baby was still born. All of those experiences very much frightened me and have me terrified of losing our baby now. But, before we got pregnant, we decided that we wanted to celebrate life while it was there. If something happens, then it happens, but we'll have those people there to celebrate or mourn, however it turns out.

When to tell our parents!?

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