How often?

Question

Hey! I was a little curious about something. I was talking to a neighbor yesterday and we got on the topic of like how a man should treat his lady. Neighbor said he wants to buy his girl things more often than just birthday and Christmas and pay for her to go and do stuff, like get her nails or hair done. Like legitimately enjoys doing that for her. That totally surprised me because my fiancé is  the complete opposite. He only buys me stuff if he's socially obligated to, like on our anniversary or my birthday. How common is that? Im not trying to sound ungrateful, I just haven't been able to even afford to get my eyebrows done ($15) in months because money is tight for me, while he makes $600+ a month more than me, and I had to pay a $215 vet bill by myself this month. I'm just curious. How often do your SOs buy things for you or pay for you to do things? Is my neighbor just out of the ordinary? My fiancé is the only guy I ever dated, so I don't know what I should actually expect from him on this since I have no experience.

Btw, we don't share money, don't have a joint bank account or anything. I just transfer him half of the bills and rent every month. I pay for his dog (he bought it), all our groceries and the majority of our food when we go out to eat out, in addition to every personal expense I have. That all comes directly out of my bank account. I don't know what he does with his checks besides paying for his insurance and gas. I got some responses about how we shared money, but couldn't reply anonymously.

Answer

I had an X BF that would pay for everything I needed/wanted if I let him.. Was almost suffocating! But I am an independent person... My husband loves to buy me little random things! Most recent was a block of gourmet cheese😋! Before that was a beautiful skirt.. He knew I wanted to dye my hair but didn't want to go have it done so he paid for the dye and told me to take a day off and get my BFF to help me do it myself 😊. We share our finances and what not.. But it's nice having him swipe his card  once in a while😉

Answer

My man and I don't have a shared account, we just take turns paying for dates, personally I like to surprise him with small gifts every once in a while while he would rather splash out on a lavish present for birthdays/holidays/anniversaries. I don't think it's right that you pay for things the two of you share like groceries or HIS dog. If talking to him doesn't work I would just stop paying for his shit and spend money on yourself ❤️❤️❤️

Answer

With my bf he buys me things when he sees something and it reminds him of me so he gets its it for me. He paid the downpayment on my car even though he didnt have to. When we go out we take turns on who buys the dinner or movie etc. I dont ever expect it though. But i do the same with him even though he makes more than me. When we move in together we will be doing the joint account just cause it will be easier and less hassle.

Answer

I know how you feel. You want to be independent and provide for yourself but it is nice when they treat you. My boyfriend pays for most of our takeaways, our date nights (dinner and cinema)which we have about twice a month, he sometimes pays for me to go down the local pub with my friends and if I see something I like and I don't have money he will buy it. But I do send money back when I get paid. I don't like to be told 'if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have that' and I'm very grateful for everything I have. Maybe he shouldn't be so tight with his money and spend a little on you.

Answer

It is personal preference.  I think having personal money, and ones own bank account in addition to joint accounts is wise.  Bit ultimately, in my mind if you are marrying and going to be a couple for life, you need to have mostly common goals and over all common priorities and work together on creating what you want in your life.

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Not everyone who is married shares money.

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My hubby rarely buys me gifts but everytime we go somewhere doesnt matter where he pays.. If i ask him for money he'll give it to me. But i still pay for my own bills and personal things like hair and nails.

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My husband buys me things/ pays for me to do things as often as he has the spare cash to. He always try's to treat me at least once a month after pay day 😊

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My bf would like to pay for everything for me. But money is tight and I make about 500+ more than him.

Answer

He sounds really selfish! He should definitely pay for groceries and take you out to eat sometimes.. at LEAST! sry not trying to sound rude but that's not normal. Especially if he's your fiance..

How often?

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