I've been in a long term relationship for almost 5 years. When we started dating we both young and stupid. We spent long nights together and things seemed great. I really think the only reason things seemed great though is because I was blinded but what I thought was love. Falling in love with someone so early isn't a bad thing. I feel like as you grow older, you gain more perspective of what you want out of life and sometimes you grow towards the person you're with and sometimes you drift away. I believe I have drifted away tremendously from him. What he wants isn't what I want. Figuring out what I want was hard and I'm still trying to grasp it all but it's obvious that were not who we were 5 years ago. About a year ago I joined a social media site and met someone really cool that made my heart and head full with emotions and my stomach fill with butterflies. He'd text me any chance he had and snapchatted me selfies that made my day. He made me so happy, but I felt so wrong texting him while I was already in a relationship. I eventually cut him completely out of my life which was never the decision I could have made. I figured that if I could focus on my boyfriend more we'd catch emotions for each other way more than ever. We went on camping trips together, went to the beach, went on small dates to the park, even just hung out at home together. Yet, I felt that it was still nothing special. My feelings still hadn't changed. It just seemed his focus was never me. His focus was truly nothing. About a few weeks ago I had gotten back touch with the man I had cut off. He randomly sent me a text message telling me that he misses talking to me a lot. It took me a while to respond since my emotions were once again jumbled. When I did respond we had caught up and eventually he had asked if we could finally hang out since that's all the both of us have ever wanted for over a year now. I gave in and told him I'd be happy to hang out. My nerves were going ballistic. I went to meet him for only a brief time. I felt so comfortable around him and he made me happy. When I had left I felt great to finally meet him. It was only a day later when he had asked again if he could see me. I went to see him again and everything was great, I had more fun than I have had in a long time. Now, he's currently across the country on vacation for a few weeks and I'm here trying to figure out what I need to do since I'm still in a relationship and all we want is each other. I have no idea how I can break up with my current boyfriend so I can focus on myself and what I want. Leaving is never easy, since we live together I'd have to find somewhere new to live and with very few places to go i will struggle but I must do what I want before I waste any more time. I would truly appreciate any feedback on what anyone thinks I should do. It'll be a while before the other man and I see each other and I really wanna get things worked out so I can focus on fixing myself and making me happy again.