How to climax?

This is somewhat embarrassing and I'm hoping some of you ladies can relate. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 4 years. We've had sex all along, but...I've never climaxed with him. It is so shameful. He knows, and we've talked about it. We've attempted to make it more enjoyable for me since his climax has never been a problem. We've tried foreplay, candles, shower, condoms, no condoms, "sexy card games", watching porn together, oral, sexy lingerie, you name it. Just about every position you can think of, too. And I feel bad saying it, but if I am extremely turned on, thus very wet down there, I don't feel him pretty much at all... So now when we have sex it's 99% of the time when I'm not fully relaxed that way I can feel him :/ But then my thoughts start to wander, and I think about if it feels good for him, how fat I look, the noises I make, the noises he makes, and before you know it, he's climaxed and I got nothing. We're so used to it that now we don't even bother trying to pleasure me. Once he goes, we will lay for a few minutes and then continue on with our day or if it's at night he will fall asleep. It's gotten so bad that I have to finish myself off while he lays next to me watching tv :/ I am so embarrassed and ashamed and a little bit mad that he gave up trying. I am terrified we will end up getting married and I will never experience an orgasm with him. I really truly have no idea what to do. Please help :(