I got my positive hpt on July 25th. My husband and I had been trying for almost 3 years so we were ecstatic! We told close friends and family, and a week later I told my daughter. She and I spent the next two days looking at baby clothes and toys, she was so excited and happy. Later that night, I experienced a heavy bleed and rushed to the ER. They drew blood, did an ultrasound, and after a few hours the doctor informed me that I was miscarrying. It was a very long night. I made a follow up with my OB, she took blood to check my hormone levels to make sure they were declining. I went home, cried, told my poor daughter the news and researched how to help her through the process. She was the one I felt the worst for. 

Two days later I got a call back from my OB and they said my hormone levels had risen and they wanted me back in to do an ultrasound. Of course I spent most of the night googling and scaring myself, thinking the worst. 

I went in the next day and, long story short, the baby is fine. My due date pushed back a week, I have a tilted uterus, and they suspect the bleeding is from a cyst or from the implantation site. I've had brown spotting ever since but my OB isn't concerned. The baby has a strong heartbeat, too. 

I'm struggling a lot to feel excited again. Now I'm just terrified. Every day I've convinced myself that it's really just a matter of time until I lose the baby. I also haven't told anyone about this, so everyone that knew still thinks I miscarried.. It makes things kind of awkward and I find myself almost lying by omission and it makes me feel terrible. How mad are they going to be when/if I do announce the news? 

How do I go about that? Do I need to talk to a professional about the fears I'm experiencing? I just want to feel happy and excited about this. I know I feel truly blessed, this has just been so insane.. Any advice? Thoughts?