My pregnancy story (Surviving PCOS, Fibroid tumors, miscarriages, infertility and more)

Mine starts 7 years ago with my first miscarriage. I was only 17 but it still devastated me to no end. That's when all my health issues arose. For years no one could tell me what was wrong. I was in pain and unable to conceive after trying for 5 years. Fast forward to 2015. In October I was diagnosed with my first fibroid tumor. Then I found out I miscarried again in November. That is when I was officially diagnosed with PCOS. The cysts continued getting worse. Leaving me in the hospital a few times a month. One ruptured and released so much blood and fluid into my abdomen that it caused me to stop breathing. Then in February I finally saw a new OB who reconfirmed that I would not be able to have children on my own, and if I did conceive on my own it would likely end in another miscarriage. He prescribed me to an androgen blocking hormone and a birth control to start taking when my next cycle came. He said to take it for a year, give my ovaries time to heal. Then we would discuss fertility treatments. I started the hormones that day. A few weeks went by and in the meantime I was going through the grieving and mourning process of never being able to have my own children. Not wanting to risk going through losing another baby because I knew deep down inside I wouldn't be able to handle it. I started noticing a difference in my hormone levels because I was having heat flashes, headaches, and I was so emotional. I figured it was the hormones from the new medicine so I brushed it off for about a week waiting on my period... Which never came. So then I debated on whether or not I should just start the birthcontrol anyways because my cycles would go 60 days sometimes. But before I did that I wanted to take a pregnancy test just in case. So I did so after work and a the control line showed up. And as I was about to throw the test away I saw a faint test line pop up. Thinking it was a evap line or false positive I took another one... Same thing. So at this point I am freaking out but I also am not believing what I am seeing. So I called my bf at the time and asked him to come take me to the store to get some things. Not telling him what for because I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. So I got digital tests and took it the next morning before work thinking it would be negative (dumb idea). A BFP popped up on seconds. I fell to the floor bawling. I was terrified of miscarrying again and also didn't want to have to break the news to my bf at the time. Especially since we had just made plans to wait 3 years. Get our careers together (I am a chef and he is trying to go pro in the UFC) we had planned to move to California mid December and had already looked at places. We wanted to do something that would be productive but also keep my mind off of things. So I make the dreaded phone call after telling my mom and bestfriend. He picked up, said okay. Then hung up the phone. Then I headed to work shaking and crying at 7am in the morning to open Starbucks. I was in such a daze I didn't know what to do with myself. The day went by and I left early to go home. That is when my bf called and said he didn't want me to keep the baby. That's when everything starting going downhill. I knew why he wanted me to abort (because of our careers and the chance of me miscarrying). I even made an appointment to do so after 3 weeks of him begging me. Then I heard the heartbeat...... I couldn't go through with it. Then he blew up. Threatening me, harassing me, breaking up with me, sending me pictures of him with other girls. Doing everything to try to make me go through with it. But I couldn't. With everything I had been through and hearing my child's beating heart for the first time when I was never able to hear my other two babies... I literally could not give up what might be my only chance to have a child. Which is what I have wanted more than anything in the world for so many years. So I broke up with him. Called his family to let them know the situation. Filed a police report and didn't hear from him for 2 months. In that time period I was put on progesterone pills and had to be on bedrest from a hemorrhage. Fast forward to now.

I am 23 weeks pregnant with a beautiful miracle of a baby boy :) he will be here December 14th and he is 100% strong and healthy. I still have a tumor, and the PCOS will never go away. But, after YEARS I get my baby and I am so blessed beyond words. His father and I are not together. But we are working on Co-parenting and he still plans to move to California after the baby is born to persue his career and hopefully go pro. It has not been easy. I love his father unconditionally and there is still no one else in the world I would rather be with. But right now my only focus is our son.

To anyone reading this

-I just hope this gives some of you hope and encouragement to never give up. I know how hard things can get if you are infertility or have any sort of chronic illness. Do not ever give up. And people told me this for years and I always hated hearing it lol But I promise you that it will happen exactly when it is supposed to.

-For those of you that may be struggling with someone pressuring you into aborting. Do not do it unless it is what you want to do. This is your baby, your body, and you will regret not keeping and baby you wanted.

-And all my miscarriage survivors out there. I have learned that your babies are just as special and important as ones who have not been lost. Embrace and acknowledge your beautiful angel. And embrace the fact that you are a mommy.

Leave me your stories below :)