What would you do?

Question

In my position, ideally for my wedding id want both parents there but my mum won't go if my dads going. My SOs parents arnt together either and they wouldn't like being there together either but his parents would deal with it because they are adults 🙄 unlike my mother who will not go if my dad does! We are thinking maybe we will just have a quiet wedding with hardly anyone, maybe a few people and then do a big shin dig party after where everyone is invited. My mum would probably not attend that. Maybe just invite our mothers for the wedding and everyone else for the after party?

Answer

Invite them all and let them decide what to do. They're adults, let them make their own decisions. You can't please everyone, so just worry about pleasing you and your fiancée. If your mom decides not to go, that's on her. She'll have to deal with the fallout from not supporting you for something so big in your life. Plus, you may find it's all talk and she shows up anyways. No mom wants to miss that.

Answer

Invite them if they choose not to go oh well you did your part. It's your day not theirs!

Answer

Been there. Divorced parents, mean in laws. I told both my parents act like adults or don't come. They both walked me down the aisle and had zero drama. In laws however got pissed and left (after a 6-7 hour drive there). Their loss. It's your day, put your foot down and if no one follows what you want tell them to leave.

Answer

Just tell her if she can't adult for an hour or so then maybe she shouldn't be there anyway. My mom is the same way, and that's what I told her when I invited my dad to my diaper party. She got over herself pretty quickly..

Answer

That is so rude! I can't believe she's basically making you choose between her or your dad for your big day! I would choose my dad btw! He's the one who gives you away and walks you down the aisle. And there's a daddy daughter dance. And he's not making you choose. But I wouldn't be willing to give that all up. She needs to suck
It up!! Oh and my parents are spilt and my dad's remarried. They all
Came! Awkward maybe but they came. So your parents can do it too!

Answer

I would invite both of them anyway. If they choose not to go, that's on them. You at least invited them. It's your day.

My hubby and I didn't even have a wedding. We went down to the courthouse and got married there. So much easier. My mom wanted me to come back to NY and have it there. I live in SC now and didn't want to fly back to have a wedding there. We fought a ton about it so him & I just got married and told everyone after. A year after that my Dad told me that if I had a wedding and if my mom was there that he absolutely would not have been there. Disappointing because I of course would've wanted him there and walk me down the isle. In that respect I'm glad I didn't have an actual wedding because if he didn't show that would've really upset me.

It's tough having parents not get along. I wish for a big day like that that they could be adults and get along for a few hours. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's tough. Plan the day for what you want and have fun! :)

Answer

Recently my friend was in such a situation
Her partner's parents were like this
She stood up and told them this wedding is about them not about the parents
They invite everyone they want to be there and than is up to each individual how they handle the situation.

Not sure what your dad did against your mom- but they should move on at least for 1 day and not put you through this stress! 
Unless u had enough grab your hubby , 2 witnesses, a pastor and your cat and go and do it somewhere quiet ! x

Answer

My dad was abusive and left my 
Mom and us kids. My stepmom made him get his act together. I walked myself down the aisle, my dad, mom, and stepmom were all perfectly nice together the whole wedding weekend.

My dad also thought he was supposed to come to the bridal shower my sister threw! Lol!

Answer

None of the above. Invite all parents involved. If they love you they will deal with it, it's extremely selfish of your mother to try to manipulate you into leaving your father out of your wedding. Hello, he's supposed to walk you down the aisle! If she wants to skip it for that reason that is on her. But to not invite your father (unless there was child abuse or some situation) just because of her is ridiculous.

Answer

Just invite the parent whose attendance means the most to you

What would you do?

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