Daddy dearest....

My life has never been easy my first memories were not happy ones. I remember living in a house in town and I was little and curious... Well daddy came home in one of his moods and scream at my mom because I was playing under the island in the kitchen he startled me and I cried making it worse... He did so with his screaming at me and my mother for me being under there. Next memory was me running to a neighbors house daddy was mad again I was just two. I remember daddy telling me our dog died cus a neighbor kicked her... We moved to a house in the country and then got another dog wittles so named by daddy when the dog caught on to my daddy's anger and pissed on him. Daddy drove into the driveway one day and didn't see him.... We got a bunch of gray hounds after him and they too were not there long they too were my animals protectors and voiced their opinions one night followed by six popping noises.... Daddy's anger only worsened as time went on I walked in on my daddy showing his anger at mommy and a hole in the wall next to her. She took it as if nothing was happening me screaming and running out. Daddy left the room acting as if nothing happened. Then memories got fuzzy those were times I spent with daddy and my mom asking me did I have fun at a movie I had no memory of seeing.  Once daddy took me to church and told me to sit in a room because I was little and couldn't go to church. Time passes and I again found myself back at home waking to my dad above me telling me my Mickey cassette would go away if I said anything. Daddy had left me at that church all day. Still I loved daddy. I sat outside the bathroom one day tapping on the door cus I wanted to talk to daddy, but he didn't want to talk to me. He slammed his hand on the door toppling the old table leaf onto my tiny head cracking it. I remember my mom screaming at daddy for the keys and him ignoring her, finishing his shower then coming out. We then went to the hospital my mom crying and worrying as I tried to calm her. The doctors couldn't calm me and a big doctor had to hold me down as my blood bled on the table and I lost consciousness. Months passed and again I wanted to talk to daddy this time daddy didn't lock the bathroom and I walked in. Once inside daddy did things I didn't understand and didn't feel right...I felt scared and confused. I told mom she wasn't happy and I went to a doctor the poked and prodded me...things had happened to me they said. Scars were present they said... I didn't understand but daddy wasn't allowed alone with me anymore and I was asking so many things I didn't really understand. Still i struggle with what happened and to this day things appear into my memories and I struggle but now I have someone to protect me and love me. He is my protector and my husband my everything.