How I went from a sept baby to an aug baby .. DunDun!

So after not leaving my house for a few days. I agreed to go look at houses with my good friend. As we were driving around I told her that it would be funny if all this walking put me into labor.. And sure enough that same night when I was home watching tv with my daughters dad adjusting my big old self on the couch I felt a little "pssh" and I knew that my water had broken. So I immediately put my had over top my shorts so it didn't soak the cushion. I look at her dad and said "omg my water broke" and he thought I was joking! Lol. "No it didn't stop playing"  I said I" I wouldn't joke around about this" so I ran upstairs got a towel and sat on it he came up after me and I told him I'm sure this is my water I took the towel from under me and saw green stuff looked like poop tbh. And I'm like k we need to go cause I don't think that's normal so fast forward we get to the hospital my nurse wasn't sure if my the baby pooped already which the doctor later confirmed it and that's when they checked me into my labor room staredt oxytocin "wasn't contracting on my own" and to kick start labor. This was my second go around and I held off as long as I could without the epidural but Jesus! When my doctor went to check me I almost died every time lol. Convinced myself by having a conversation in my head about if she is just checking me imagine pushing out the baby without it.. You're already 5-6 cm do you really want to do this.. so I ended up getting one which I regretted as I was sitting there feeling this dull ache as he inserted the damn thing. My nurse was super sweet all this is worse than the IV. Nah Sista this hurts so much more! Lol when it was all done I got the first dose and then another because my doc was like she's not as comfortable as I'd like her to be after checking me again (yay for patient advocating) it made me cramp even more when she checked so that's a plus. I ended up vomiting and the thing is my SO didn't believe me cause I kept saying I'm nauseous but nothing happened until it did and I threw up oxtail and rice all over myself fucking dummy I was so annoyed of him at that point. I told him to get me a bowl too and he just sat there should have aimed it at him right lol. So the nurse had to clean it up cause I was obviously out of commition and she probably hated me cause she walked in as it was exorcist-ing out my mouth (poor lady) I felt bad and it stunk don't eat oxtail and rice before labor lol. Any way fast forward again.. The nurse kept saying the baby was op and here comes my doc fixes her position and tells me to push one time and to stop.. STOP.. I felt her head just there between bulging had to wait for neonatal team and everyone else to get ready for what seemed like forever I grabbed SOs hand and started panting cause boy having a watermelon just chilling in your vaginal canal isn't a cute feeling.. Arrived around midnight had my baby girl August 28th @7 am (due sept 4th). 5 minutes of pushing no tearing (thank god) made the first poop waaaay easier lol. I cried like silent hyperventilating type cry. The end!