I didn't realize until now 😳

I been a victim of sexual assault since 7 years, I didn't realize until now after finally writing the story down to a response to a post on eve. My story (kind long) I have a imagine in my head of me around 7 years old sitting on this man lap my sister next to me waiting for a doctor and his rubbing my leg between my thighs, i was wearing shorts. Goes blank after that. Time past around age 9 my cousin two years older than me touched me, we use to my grandma house when we were alone in living room he would try touch my breast and vagina, one time he took me back to the house while no one was home and put his hand on my vagina but I don't remember if he finger me or not, its such blurry, after that he took me to my uncle room pushed me in bed and tried put is penis but he couldn't told me touch his penis, don't know why but than he cut a lime and told rub on my vagina and he rubbed on his penis. After a while haven't seen him until his sister that took me to her house, he pillow my face and tried touch me I finally pushed back which was the last time i saw him. I moved away came to USA, when i was 12 years old there was this kid use to bully me say mean things, I use to stay after to do homework one day he stayed with me it was night and little cold. He took me to the school car parking lot and pulled down my pants and push me against the car, all i saw blood running down my legs didn't feel no pain just saw blood, i numb pulled my pants up and walked home everything just went blank didn't speak just went home and took shower. I did speak of this until my first boyfriend when i was 14 he was 18 i told him and he made feel guilty that i let that happen to myself, I don't know why I stayed with him. He emotionally abused saying all kind things. One day walked on the street amd i saw the kid that to me he walked up to me and apologized. Now as 21 years old my boyfriend of 3 years a month he asked if i was ever abused or raped and i told him because i blocked his images of my head tried to remember, but i would always get angry n mad to see story about abuse never talk about.

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