So my feet were very swollen and it didn't go down. I also had a slight headache. It wasn't anything overwhelming, actually just annoying. When I left work I called my doctors office. They told me to check my blood pressure and if it was too high to go directly to labor and delivery. My pressure was supposed to be 140/90 but it was actually 167/109. After I checked it at Walgreens I went straight to the hospital. They immediately hooked me up to the pressure monitor and my son to the baby monitor. They took a urin test which came back positive for protein in it. At that point they admitted me. I was immediately given the steroid shot to help his lungs develop faster should he come early. I took the two doses of the injection. I was there for a week. They tried to get my blood pressure stabilized but there was no such luck. At one point my pressure got as high as 172. It was during this time that his heart rate slowed a little bit. They rushed me into an emergency c section. He was born at 30 weeks. He is still in NICU. I was discharged four days later after I myself was stabilized and no longer a risk. On the way home I wept because I felt like I was leaving him. My pressure is still not completely back to normal. I'm basically banned to bed rest to heal except for when I go to see him at the hospital. When I don't see him I get so depressed and I wish I could stay longer. He is doing better and responding well to everything. I know I should feel good but I feel so depressed. Being away from him is like a piece of my heart is missing. I cry a lot and my husband is understanding but my depression is starting to affect him because it gets his nerves shot that im always crying. I don't know what to do to help me not be so emotional and how to del with everything. Not having him home is so unnatural and I don't know how to cope with it very well. I get so angry with myself because I couldn't carry him full term. I am also having trouble pumping milk and that frustrates me even more. I feel like I can't do anything right :/