Please read..

I rarely share my insecurities with anyone so please don't make fun of me or say anything negative.. I have a very low self esteem and it affects me everyday. I've been feeling this way as long as I can remember. I constantly cry because of my unattractiveness and I can't seem to stop putting myself down.. anyway somehow while I was on fb I stumbled upon my husbands ex and she looked so much better looking than me. I felt devastated. She has better characteristics than I do and she's also skinner than me. I want to be beautiful so badly. I hate my face and my body so much. I want to be somebody else. When I walk no one turns to look at me or even notice me. I try my hardest to get ready in the morning and put makeup and nice clothes. But it isn't enough. When will it be? What more am I going to have to do to be beautiful? I'm not asking for sympathy or for you guys to pity me. I just need advice. I need someone else perspective about beauty. I despise hating myself. I want to better, but I can't. It's so hard for me to get over my insecurities.