What am I doing?

Question

I'm 20 years old. I had unprotected sex last night and the guy came in me. I am trying to get pregnant and he knows that. He said he would help me get pregnant, but he doesn't like me or want to be in the baby's life. Which honestly, is okay with me. I just want a baby. Of course if I am pregnant, I would like to be the best mom I can possibly be. I want to give my child everything I possibly can. I didn't grow up with a dad, and it was hard. I always felt like I was lacking something inportant and I don't want the baby to feel the same way. What do I do? I've already had sex, I've already stopped my birth control and I've already got my mind set on having a baby. What do I do? Am I wrong for all if this? Please help!

Answer

This is completely my opinion & maybe I'm wrong for thinking this .. but .... I think being the best mom you could POSSIBLY be doesn't include purposely & knowingly starting off your babies life without a father. I understand situations happen that are out of people's control where the father leaves or some ppl choose insemination as a single mom & stuff like that but idk .. I think you are going about this situation all wrong.

Answer

Why the rush? You're only 20. But seriously? ...you just said it was hard growing up without a dad, now you want to do the same with your child? (if you are in fact pregnant). I'm sorry but that makes no sense. Not only will it be hard for your child to grow up without a father but it will be hard for you raising a child on your own as well. Of course many women do it and I find it admirable. But you're still so young, and you might not be pregnant yet, you still have time to make better choices. Good luck.

Answer

My personal opinion is that your young and if you want to be a mom that's great but it would probably be better for you and the child in the long run to find someone that wants to be a father and love you just the same... Having that can make life so much better.

Answer

I feel you deserve the best , be with someone who you love and you love him bk . I feel If you want a baby give him or her a fair chance at life .

Answer

I sure hope you can afford to be a single mother. You must have a lot of money saved up from all the part time work you did in high school. I can't imagine having a decent enough job at your age to be able to provide for a family on my own. At 20 I hadn't even received my bachelors degree. Wow.

Also a baby doesn't fix issues with self esteem and loneliness if that's what you're searching for

Answer

Kids need their dads!! I'm only speaking from the perspective of always having had my dad in my life. Willingly walking yourself into single parenthood is really unwise. There are way too many fatherless homes and our country is feeling the consequences of it. Truly wanting the best for your baby is wanting a solid home for it.

Answer

In my opinion. If you're on here asking people then you're not mentally prepared for a child. Having a baby should be a decision made between two people who will be there to raise the child and love he/she. You have years to live your life still and some day when you have met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then have a baby. Think about the child's life and future and not just what you want now in the present moment.

Answer

I think this was a poor decision. I honestly think you have some deeper issues within yourself...

Answer

You don't seem to know anything about this guy.  Why do you want a baby by him? You say now you are ok not having him around or any support but that may change when you see how expensive a baby is. You should wait until you are in a good relationship with a man who wants to be there for your children. Don't repeat what you went through. It honestly sounds like you are lonely and want a baby to fill the void. Maybe get a kitten instead. You don't need some man for that.

Answer

This is absolutely ridiculous. You're right.. "What are you doing???". So you had a hard time knowing you didn't have a dad and you're saying that you want the best for your child and don't want them to go through the same thing you went through but you're completely starting off by repeating what you went through to your unborn child. You want a baby and feel like you should? Just because you want a baby doesn't always mean you should. Babies are a lot of responsibility. You have to be able to provide for them, if you can't do that, then don't have one. Simple. I really don't understand why women rush to these things, it's ridiculous and selfish if you know you're not ready m, meaning: financially stable, for the most important part. Why give yourself problems when you didn't have one. I'll never understand.

What am I doing?

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