My induction was scheduled for Tuesday 9/27. Monday night I given Cervidil to help dilate me. At 41 weeks, I was still closed and very high. I started having small contractions that only the monitor could pick up, which was great. Once they started getting a little stronger, things went south. 

The baby's heart rate would drop every time I would contract. All of a sudden everyone rushed in my room to check on me. They ripped (and I literally mean the nurse spread my legs and RIPPED) the cervidil out to see if that was the reason his heart rate was dropping. I had another contraction and it dropped again. Doctor said she would give it one more contraction to see how he did. You guessed it, his heart rate dropped. I ended up having an emergency c-section that night. Literally they were in my room at 915, by 920 it was decided I was having the C, and by 947 he was out.

 They had no time to do a spinal, so I had to be put under general anesthesia. My husband couldn't be in the OR. He couldn't be there for me or our son. He was stuck panicking in my L&D room trying to call my family and his. He said it was the longest 30 minutes of his life. 

It turns out that every time I would contract, the baby would lean against the cord and cut off his lifeline. 

While I was in recovery, my husband was holding the baby and the baby kept shaking. His blood sugar levels were very low, so they took him to the NICU. My BP was sky high so I was in recovery until 2am while it stablized. I had yet to see my son, so after leaving recovery they wheeled me to see him. I cried and cried and cried. I was disoriented, in pain, and missing my child. The doctors say I most likely developed gestational diabetes AFTER my test was taken. I waited until the very last day of the string of dates given to me to take that damn test. How was this possible?

Here we are, 4 days later. I was discharged, and my baby wasn't. No one prepares you for that. Everything I learned in my "birth class" was useless. I had to go home while my baby stayed in his little NICU room. He is doing better, and we hope to take him home shortly. How do I deal with this? I am sitting at home trying not to cry because it hurts my incision. I'm trying not to cry because I want to be the strong mom. I'm trying not to cry because then I leak. I'm trying not to cry because I need to save my energy. I don't know what to do or how  to deal with this. 

Here is my sweet prince though, Thomas Aaron. Born 9/26/16 at 947pm, weighing 7lbs, 9oz.