1. It can get real freaking lonely. Nope, I don't have a "village/community" to go to and if I'm being quite honest I find it hard to ask for help when its just for "me time" and not work related.   (Ha! Me time)

2. That brings me to the "make sure your making time for yourself" myth. I have not had a single hour or day for myself since giving birth. Well maybe on the ride to work , at work, and on my way home from. But other than that there has been no time solely dedicated to myself. Well--wait I lied- I attended two hot yoga classes when my mom was in town a few months ago. That was nice! 

3. My family I trust/feel comfortable watching my daughter live really far away.  As in an hour away or an airplane away. 

4. I am grateful I am able to support my daughter. But I am still on a pretty tight budget until I cover my deductible and other bills. Since returning to work there have been a lot of changes and my position at my office seems shaky. 

Overall, I am tired, overwhelmed, and sometimes just need a freaking break and I don't know who to tell and how to tell them so I'm posting it here because I feel like I needed to say it/ write it out loud somewhere. I would say I'm pretty strong and I put on a really strong face because that's who I've been all my life to my friends and family. And do people really want to hear how your doing when they ask you? Not really...everyone has there own stuff going on. My birthday is coming up in a week and a half and I'm using my babysitter so I can go get a massage I didn't use at the end of my pregnancy. Let me tell you I am counting down the days when I can climb on that massage table have someone rub my aching body that is still recovering birth and snore like a bear.