Postpartum Blues or just normal stress?

After 30 hours of unmedicated labor, we ended up with an unplanned c-section.

Fast forward through all the painful recovery woes and normal new-mom/baby routines...Im 3 weeks postpartum and having a hard time coping with some things.

At the birthing center, they had us using a nipple shield because Baby didn't want to work very hard to make a good latch I guess. No tongue-tie or any issues- Baby just didn't want to. The shield helped but Baby would also get frustrated with how long it would take for my milk to come down so they had us using Donor breastmilk through a syringe at first and then had be pumping so that once my milk came it we'd use that.

I blame the c-section and our "not the same" skin-to-skin that I did or didn't get immediately. I don't know if that's true but either way it makes me sad.

Once we came home, I had all these restrictions and limitations for recovery of course so my lack of mobility had me just wanting to keep Baby on me at all times.

Now Baby hasn't slept without being on or next to me. I dont mind it but it does make thing difficult caring for a 6mo. that i babysit and had to take back only a week after coming home with Baby.

It also makes it difficult to pump. I know that I should just put Baby down and have us all get used to it but I guess emotionally, I just don't want to.

I need to pump but am only getting it in 2 or 3 times a day and some days not at all.

I don't want my supply to end or not be able to feed my babe properly but I really just feel so drained, emotionally and physically, that I just can't do anything.

Baby and I lay in bed, or make our way to the rocker if I need a change of view and my husband is there to help me move, and nurse..nap..change..nurse..nap..nurse.

Thankfully I've had family members here helping with the 6mo. but that blessing has come to an end so this little routine can't continue.

I feel like such a shlump of a person and a lousy momma for not being able to have a healthy day for us. I know the c-section was needed, and I'm so thankful that Baby and I are healthy, but I'm so angry at my pain and the nipple shield and having to work already because of finances and my husband being able to do whatever he wants and the lack of ability to pump enough and and and.

I apologize for this whiney post. I know we're blessed. I'm just currently sad.