How do you tell her

3 years ago we lost our sweet baby at 21 weeks. Our 4th loss in all. Recently my husband and I got memorial tattoos to honor our baby. It was an emotional roller-coaster and I am so happy with it. In sharing our tattoos my mother said she wanted to get one with our babies name. How do I tell her no? How do I explain to her that I understand she had also lost something but not more than what we lost? How to I tell her that this is not about her? She has done this since the day he passed. She always does this. Anything in my life she turns it around to make it about her. I do NOT want her to make the loss of OUR babies about her. How do I tell my mother I love her but to stop being selfish, that our baby is our baby not hers?

Or am I being unreasonable? But I feel I am allowed to want to keep my baby to myself.

Thoughts?