A Mother's Love

Although I never got to see my baby, I was a mom. Even if it was only for a mere 9 weeks, I loved fiercely. When I went in to see my tiny heart beat I instead saw nothing. There was no baby. Coping with this is confusing. So my body only thought it was pregnant after implantation? My embryo never grew? But to me, I was still a mom. For the 9 weeks I thought I was pregnant I cared for myself in order to care for my baby. Every vitamin, every healthy snack, every workout, every nap, every indulgent food I consumed, was with my baby in mind. Now I am left with an empty sac, decreasing hormone levels, and the nagging thought of when my body will start to turn on me and reject my baby. This kind of loss is like nothing I have ever felt before... RIP angel baby.