I see so many girls/women on here that describe these situations that are so ridiculous. They're like "I've been w/ my bf for 8 months and we decided we want a baby now I'm pregnant. Now he's not sure he wants a baby. should I leave him? and he is talking to other women online". ? just ONE example. People sound so casual about creating life with someone and then all of a sudden they start seeing the dude for who they really are after their preggo?! I mean its so weird. I get we can't predict every situation but I would hope that I would know my man a little better then that. Id be furious to just randomly see him for who he is apparently out of the blue, when you're pregnant. Not to say that marriage is the answer to everything but we had to go to counseling together before we got married and it really helped to communicate better. We had to ask ourselves and each other a lot of questions that didnt cross our mind before. It really made us think about how is my spouse going to be in 5, 10, 20 years? What is he or she going to be like as a husband/father or wife/mother? How will i feel about that one thing they do that annoys the shit outta me in 10 years and vice versa? will I change and if i do (which we all change to a degree by learning, growing, maturing) how will it effect my husband/kids/family? People are so non chalant about having kids with potentially the wrong person. Take it from me my dad was a deadbeat that was abusive to my mom. I love my mom dearly and I never felt like I was missing anything because she worked her ass off for my brother and I but I wish she had been strong enough to leave his ass before us. I mean im glad I was born but we didnt have a good father because of who she got pregnant by and then she complained about him all our lives. Just dont have kids with a dude if you're unsure of him. Love is blind and that womenly itch to have a baby makes you're common sense go to shit. You should have similar beliefs and goals and you should be loyal and honest to each other before even thinking about making a baby. You're only short changing yourself and maybe your unborn child.

"how you gonna win if you ain't right within?" lauryn hill

Also my dad is recently married while my poor mom is still single at 63. Shes 63 and fabulous but still she deserves true love and how ironic my dad ends up the happy married one. Go figure.