Please have meds on deck..not trying to be a soldier again

As my due date approaches (Jan 1), I'm beginning to experience high levels of fear and anxiety. I still fear the pain of childbirth even after having kids already. I don't care what anyone says.. the pain does not get easier with experience. I've had all my other children naturally without any pain meds..not by choice though. My labors are like super fast..shotgun sorta and to the point that there is no time to administer an epidural. I really don't want to feel the pain because for me it takes away from the experience and my concentration on my baby. I just want to be able to focus.