I need self control.... ? POAS RANT

Nova • 24 Years Old. 1 Daughter born 10.26.15
I found a pregnancy test hidding in my drawer... I was going to test christmas morning but couldn't find a test so I told myself I would wait till the 28th when AF is due... well that didn't happen... I have now tested 5dpo, 10dpo, and 12dpo.. all without FMU of course cause I can't effing wait lol. The longest I can hold my urine is 3 hours right now anyway otherwise I'm in the bathroom every hour it seems the past week. But anyway everytime I test I see a line and it ends up as an evap with no color. I FEEL pregnant and I know half the women that test at 12dpo get false negatives but I'm still a little discouraged and I don't want to be because I literally feel like I'm pregnant, I feel different. All these positive tests I see are starting to upset me a little too... I dunno right now ?