Help.. Advice.. someone to talk to.. Something.
My boyfriend is 18 a freshman in college and I'm 16 a junior in high school. We have been together almost 2 years and a few months ago I got pregnant (we did use protection we always do). And before I gained the courage to tell anyone.... right as I was starting to become excited about the whole thing.. I had a misscarrage... some people would think its a relief I'm 16 and I don't have to worry about taking care of a child.. and I tried telling myself that. And it worked for a while... but it didnt last long.. I feel like I shouldn't be as sad I am about it now because 1) Its was months ago and 2) I'm not going to have to raise a baby as a teen parent.. but I wish I was.. because that was my baby.. and I lost it.. I don't know if I'm just being stupid about it but I want my baby.. I tell myself its not my fault but it is my fault.. maybe if I would have tested sooner or maybe said something and hadn't waited that 2 weeks After I tested to tell someone. I'd be pregnant and about to have this beautiful baby.. MY baby..
And to top the guilt bucket off.. as much as I want him to.. My boyfriend doesn't even know about any of it and I wouldn't even know how I'd be able to tell him.. not now but I didn't know how back then either.. I just wish I could go back.. I'm just not sure what to do we'er still together and great and we still have sex and its great too.. just every once in awhile I think about us with our child.. what we would be.
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