Am I too traditional?

Question

I see so many posts about girls wanting babies by their boyfriends. In my mind, you don't act on these feelings unless that man is your husband and you've planned a stable and committed life together. Am I wrong? I just feel like the traditional family unit these days is almost out of the norm!

Answer

Nope. I agree. I knew I wanted to be married before I got pregnant

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My parents were never married. Here we are 20 years later and I don't go home for holidays because what house would I go to? It would start a fight. So I skip it. Kind of sucks. Just personal experience.  I'm not having children until I'm married. Just to give them the stable foundation I never had.

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I agree. I made sure to have my big beautiful wedding before even thinking about it. What's wrong with that? By not having kids we had money for a fun lavish wedding and a honeymoon cruise. Not to mention a housing situation etc..

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I know a few people who don't plan to get married but plan the kids to scam the government. They say that the boyfriend doesn't live with her (which he does but his mail goes to his moms) and she gets govt assistance, food stamps, cheaper rent and so on for being a single mom. It's pretty disgusting the people who do this and I know a couple. I asked one girl if they were ever going to get married and she just laughed and said and loose all my benefits? You must be crazy.

Answer

To each their own. I got married because I felt like it was the right thing to do because that is how I was raised. Go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, bam. That ended with me getting divorced a year later because it isn't what I wanted. Now, I am in an extremely stable relationship, we are in the process of buying a house on land to become more self sustainable, and we are TTC. We've talked about marriage but thing in the end it would just be for the legality of things. We don't feel like a paper has to define a relationship. As long as two people can come together and love one another and their children, and provide the emotional/mental/physical needs... I say go for it.

Answer

Marriage and life commitment need to be taken more seriously. Destroying the family unit is destructive to a country and single parent homes are among the poorest of poor in this country. Other than social issues, I personally strongly believe in creating a strong family with a firm foundation in commitment. Marriage is more than a paper, its a symbol of a  choice to put another's welfare above your own and raise the next generation with a solid idea of good character qualities that come from lasting long term relationships.

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I know people that have never been married, have kids, and still live as if they were married. A signed paper and a ring doesn't dictate a healthy relationship.

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I'm pretty traditional and have a somewhat traditional community, but we may be the weird ones now

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Eh, but not being married doesn't mean your not committed. My husband and I knew we wanted kids together long before we married. Marriage doesn't guarantee a single thing ;-)

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My and my husband started dating in August 08, got pregnant dec 08 and our son was born aug 09. It wasn't planned and I was on birth control too so sometimes things happen.

Am I too traditional?

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