boys are hard

I am just so in love with this boy, but it's so hard to tell if he feels anything because sometimes it seems like I'm annoying him, but sometimes we're sitting alone in the dark and he'll just reach out and put a hand on my shoulder and look me dead in the eye like he wants me to see something there, or like he's reading me and wants me to understand something. He'll almost say something, but then the situation changes and we're just two idiots sitting in the dark again. I've never been in a relationship, how do I boy? 😫