life after mc

Soo as you all know I mc on the 28th and figured we'd just continue ttc when bleeding stopped (oct1) as it was early and everything passed. Well it's been a tough journey for us and I've had ALOT!! Of anxiety and doubt these last weeks. It's been draining and I've been depressed.. won't lie..it's sad but true and so all month I've been avoiding looking at cd, fertile week etc because I thought it would make it worse. And boy was I right, I just looked yesterday. Today I'm cd28😳 what did I do?? Be stupid and test.. Yup a bfn on a cheapie😏 I tested because normally my cycle would be here between today and tomorrow. But bfn!! I was praying the "your more fertile after mc" would apply to me but I guess not and now I'm dreading the days because I guess af should be here soon. And it's soo depressing. Ttc 2yrs get a bfp only to lose it and never get it back😔I'm kind of at my breaking point I think. I don't want to give up as I want my baby sooo bad but I just don't know😔 sorry it's long guess I needed to vent😢 best of luck to you all trying n may the rest of you continue to have a wonderful pregnancy and enjoy those new babies some of you have had✨