In-laws and no boundaries .... Again!

Hey ya'll!
This week has been one for the books lets me tell you. I am 38 weeks and have been anticipating, with my husband the birth of our second child. I had a csection with my son and was elated when I learned that I was a candidate for a VBAC!! I've met all the critiria and was just patiently playing the waiting game. 
On Monday we found out that baby had flipped and had become breech. She must have found that same spot her brother had stretched out in my first pregnancy! 
Any who, we are now looking at a scheduled C-Section on Halloween day, and my nerves are wreck. I so badly wanted a natural birth and feel robbed. With that said, my husband and I decided to make arrangements for our four year old (special needs) to stay with my mom and come up to the hospital later that day after I have a chance to come out of the OR and do some quality bonding time. 
We were kind of pushed to let family in sooner than we wanted to the first time around and wanted it differently this time. 
My mom totally loved that idea and agreed that I needed it being my hopes have kind of been crushed (I'm really hormonal right now), but my in laws acted as if we told them they can't come see the baby at all. I'm scheduled at 8 and we asked for no visitors until around 10. She flat out said "no!". So we told her she is more than welcome to wait in the waiting room but no visitors until 10. My FIL got so mad he walked out. 
This is not the first time we have dealt with the the two of the railroading our wishes and making a fuss because we wanted to do something alone. 
If any of you have had a CS, you know you don't feel great afterwards and for me, having everyone trying to get "their turn" in caused for a lot of extra anxiety. 
Here's the kicker in all this. We actually live with my in laws right now and they will get to see my kids way more than anyone else........
I know I'm ranting but has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing? And why does it have to always be about everyone else except who matters most?