honest advice and help please

Been married for three years, our relationship is solid. Other than the physical... he used to want to make out, mess around, have sex quite a lot and now? He never initiates, hardly is sexual to me in anyway, and we have sex maybe once a month. I've tried talking to him about it, he says sex is messy and feels like a chore. I've tried to make it more pleasurable for him and less like a chore... but it doesn't seem to be working. My only conclusion is I'm the problem? Please, keep in mind that I have anxiety...