Bad Break Up I Need Advice 😢😢😢😢

Me and my bf I have been dating for a year would be two on December 21 has broke up 😥 I'm 17 btw' so long story short when we first started we got in a huge argument and I wanted a break he kept trying to win my heart etc but I wanted a break so I started talking to another boy ' didn't cheat just wanted to make my bf jealous I lied to the boy by saying ily I felt so guilty so decided to tell my bf now he's mad at me and holds it against me saying he don't think I love him he can't trust me etc. Buy at the same time he has done me wrong too he's got in a argument with my mama cause she thought he was cheating but I yook him back I really love him y'all he said he wants to be friends with benefits but had. The nerve to say him and his ex are talking again already...? It's so hard to get over it because he's the first bf I had the first I had sex with idk what to do he broke up with me yesturday but we ft Nd talked otp anytime I brought the subject up he got mad I guess I'll be lonely forever 😢😔