should my brother live with us?

Question

So my brother is going to college soon, we were all born and raised in Cali but we moved to Germany and came back a few years later and I got pregnant and stayed here while my family moved over once again. Now my brother will be going to college and I want him to stay at my place with my kids, hubby and our best friend (who's like a brother to us he lives with us for so long now) but he doesnt really want to.
Am I too pushy as his big sister or should I just make him stay with us? We're living in a gated community it's safe here and he wouldnt have to worry about paying rent for a tiny place which is probably even unsafe. Our house is huge and like he wouldnt even see us if he wouldnt want to because we have like 2 kitchens and other living room areas and he'd have his own bedroom in a different wing of the house...

Answer

If he doesn't want to then no he shouldn't. Part of going to college is growing up and being independent so this should be his decision. I wouldn't want to live with my sibling while going to college if it were me.

Answer

Don't push it. But let him know that it is ALWAYS on the table.

Answer

If he doesn't want to live with you don't push it, make the offer and if he chooses to live elsewhere just keep the option open to him. It will probably take a few months of living in a crap shack and running out of food/toilet paper before he considers living with you. It's probably important to him being of college age to feel independent, everyone needs to experience it on their own. Kudos to you wanting him to stay and offering, it's a really sweet thing to do. I'm a younger sibling and I probably wouldn't have wanted to live with my older sibling during college. I was interested in doing my own thing, partying and hanging out with friends.

Answer

Definitely don't push, but leave door open to him as on going offer.  He my change his mind.  It is time for him to live life on his terms.

should my brother live with us?

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