🙃 My boyfriends brothers girlfriend is pregnant too...

And what would I be confused about 😂😅... how I feel about everything happening with me and around me....I feel like everything's playing out again, like last year 🙁😞 or I'm just worried. I hate feeling discouraged...Last year I had such a bad experience,dumb test results,missed miscarriage, D&c, I felt so broken .... I felt jealous because my boyfriends cousin had a chance to be a father. We dreamt about our kids playing together, growing up together..but my body practically failed me.

This year again bad test results..(no anatomy scan yet) now his brothers girlfriend is pregnant too...is it wrong of me to feel jealous already or like I wish she wasn't pregnant, just not now. I don't want everything to go wrong with me while I watch everyone else have a happy pregnancy. It's just terrifying thinking about it, it hit me hard last year...after my loss I couldn't even look at a kid without tears streaming down my face.

I'm feeling so down...but at the same time I'm happy for her, her dad has cancer and maybe he'll get to meet the baby in time ,if he doesn't get better. My feelings are so conflicting 😔 I hate myself for feeling like this. ...4more days til my scan.