Doing it on my own. Sould i move out or buy a car...?

Question

I just had my baby girl almost 2 weeks ago and I can't believe where I am in life right now. I feel like such a failure and im crying about how much its going to hurt leaving her to go back to work. Nov 7 will be a month since iv been off work and by then it'll be 3 weeks since she's been born. I am planning to go back Nov 21 probably work part time cus I can't bear to miss out on the time I have with my baby. My baby's father and I broke up two weeks before my due date and all our plans went to the trash. Not that it matter anyways because I was living n still living at my parents. Even tho he is the one who left I am glad he did because staying around hasn't gotten me anywhere now its up to me to decide what I plan on doing in life. I'm 23 years old and I love that my parents are over the moon with my baby but they have been more controlling and controlling as the days pass by. I feel more of a sister to my newborn then a mother. I feel so trapped in my own home and I am so tired of the rules, I want my own place where im allowed to leave a quick mess, to take care of my baby my own way, to not have to ask if visitors can come, a place where I won't be asked a million questions. Apart from that I need a break, to get away from my parents and let them work on their relationship because all they do is argue and fight. Even with the baby around they bicker so much and it stresses me out. I know they will be upset if I move out especially alone with the baby but I am confident I can do it. I know my mom will also offer to baby sit when I go to work which means I will of course pay her. I worked minimum wage but I'm not planning to go back to my job because that won't be very beneficial, I have my cosmetology license so I can find a job now that im not pregnant. I am also putting the dad on child support, I have bought this up to him. Told him I want my own apartment and that means he will need to help out with paying for a babysitter, cloths, pampers n things for the baby n there will be no way in hell I'll be able to move out if it will be up to me to also take care of everything else. He also wants to take baby out already (he comes sees her at my parents) and I told him he'll need to wait til she gets her shots in December. Im not happy about it but that's a diff story. On the other hand I have the option of staying home saving as much money as I can and wait til the summer to move out and buy a car for the meanwhile. It will be my first car, and if I get my license it will be easier to travel to places and even take baby out after she gets her shots. I'll have some sort of freedom with her even if I don't have my own place...not sure what to do?? If I move out it will be in January. Please help!! Any advice or tips or thoughts before making a choice?

Answer

Get a car first one step at a time. It's easier too be independent when you can go when you need to then save your money for a place, until then grit and bare it

Answer

Yeah a car first. Transportation is necessary especially when you live alone with a baby. Go for that first and then work on a place to live

Answer

Stay and save money. Once you have a car you will have a new sense of independence. By time you get a new place you will have a car and some money saved. Goodluck ❤

Answer

The car, hands down.

I live by a great bus line that could get me plenty of places (though it would take me 2 hours to get to work). However, I have lived places where that wasn't my reality. If you don't have a car it will Greatly limit where you can rent in relation to where you work. What if you end up in an apartment you hate (or isn't safe) just because it's closer/more accessible to work? Or what if you have to turn down the job you Really want because there is no way to get there from where your living?

I know it's hard and frustrating to stay there until summer but your right in saying a car will give you more freedom. This is overwhelming but temporary...just ignore your parents and focus on the goal and the time will pass faster than you think.

Answer

Stay with your parents and get yourself ready. Save as much money as you can and let them help you. Yes, it sucks to have rules but don't get in over your head. Your 23 and don't even have your drivers license, which means auto insurance isn't going to be cheap...rent, utilities, food, diapers...trust me, you're better off staying for now.

Answer

I agree with getting a car 1st. It also depends on your area if there is public transportation available/reliable. When I didn't have my license I chose to move into a place just a 10min walk from work. So there's a couple different options. It does become a pain without a car when it comes to needing to run out for groceries (now diapers) last minute. People also get tired of being dependant for rides, but if you have to bundle up baby & hop on the bus to do it, you do what you have to do.

You'll ultimately have to decide what's best for you & baby. If you haven't tried talking to your parents about how you feel that may be a good idea too. I'm sure they want what's best for you, maybe give them an idea of your goals and plans. You may be surprised how they react & become more supportive/ understanding.

If you choose to move out look into getting on Sec 8, WIC, food stamps to help you get on your feet. Best of luck to you girl!

Answer

I recommend getting an apartment near a bus line/super close to the place you'd like to work. Transportation time is going to suck, especially when time is money. However, living with your parents is only going to put more stress on you in the long run.

Answer

I think you should move out. Having a car would be very convenient but there are other ways to get to places like taking the bus. Having your own place would give you the freedom you want! Your baby will only be small once and it would suck if you don't get to take care of her the way you want to and if you'll be feeling like her sister instead of her mom. You can always save up money for a car once you go back to work. But that's just my opinion. Good luck with everything!! It will definitely get better. There can't be a rainbow without a little rain ❤️

Doing it on my own. Sould i move out or buy a car...?

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