"Just don't stress and it'll happen!"

I don't know why this is people's favourite bit of "advice" to give, and I can't pinpoint exactly why it boils my potatoes. Maybe because it's smug. Maybe because it's effectively meaningless. Most likely because it's presumptuous, and works to shut down women's conversations. Most of the time I've heard it, I've not been expressing stress or worry, I've just been talking about the process of TTC and what I've been learning about my own body and reproduction. Even tracking and educating myself is called "stressing." I'm not a medical professional, and reproduction is often mysterious, so the process can be interesting and confusing. I genuinely don't know why it's easier for some, and I do wonder about our chances for success. I consider a scenario in which it never happens. I get impatient. This is all part of a valuable process of me trying to understand my body as I go through a major life stage. Throwing the platitude "don't stress" or "just stop thinking about it" devalues that process and essentially tells me, as a woman (or my husband, as involved in a normatively female thing) to shut up about it. That sucks. 

/end of rant 🙂