I don't even know where to begin, bc there is soo much for me to process!! Let me start by saying when I met my fiancé (Dave),  I was 29 & I had a 2 yr old daughter from a prior relationship, once her father & I broke up, he stopped seeing/ bothering w/ her..  Ok, I met my fiancé when I was 14, then when I was 17 & he was 21, we had a one night stand, & we never seen each again.. Thru the years, living in the same city, I knew he was in a relationship for years, & I had 3 relationships in that time frame.. 13 years later, we happen to meet up again on a dating website!! It was super ironic, & he told me he & his girlfriend of 13 yrs, just broke up 6 months b4 n had a 4 yr old daughter.. I was hesitant bc I was looking for a tru relationship n didn't want to get involved, but bc I knew him already n he told me thru the years they were on n off, but this time was the last time for him, he was tired of being kicked out.. ok so I really liked him, so I gave it a shot, n not to mention he told me he would think about me, n ask about me after that night when we hooked up! It was like the ultimate love story.. We both fell in love w/ each other quickly, about a month n 1/2 we met each other's daughters, n shortly after I moved in w/ him, far from the city we were from!! From the beginning there was nothing but drama, w/ his ex.. Then there was cute text msgs, dinner dates etc.. all bc "they have a daughter" that they wanted to make comfortable.. Caught him in stupid lies regarding his ex, n I would always get, it's nothing it's bc of his daughter.. so red flags were there from the beginning, but he always would down play or say I'm being ridiculous, that its nothing etc.. ok this was always at the center of our relationship.. it was always something, I jus looked the other way, bc he wasn't cheating n I loved him!! 1 year n 1/2 into our relationship, we moved bac to the city we're from n a couple months later we broke up, for about 2 weeks.. We got back together he told me he had sex w/ some girl, told me her name what happened etc.. I was very upset, but we were broken up, so I just had to except it.. but I always felt something went on between Dave n his ex.. he always swore to me no, n we would fight bc things never really added up.. but I had no proof so, I had to move on.. 3 months after our breakup we moved in together n we made a promise that, there would b complete honesty n no more unnecessary drama w/ his ex, n of course No cheating!!! . By this time he wanted to try for a baby, get married, bc we already had a family, my daughter called him daddy on her own, he treated my daughter like his own n both our kids were very close.. in Oct of that year I found out I was pregnant, we were soo excited especially that it was a boy!!! Thru all the joy, the drama somewhat died down.. We got engaged, everything finally felt right!! I was happy n content.. until 3 months later, I was 7 months pregnant n by pure accident, bc I played detective, I found out, while we broke up, Dave n his ex had sex!! I was devastated, not by the act so much, the lie!!! N he told her to lie!!! My happiness turned to misery.. bc now I feel stuck, bc I would have left him.. also  n I felt our promise n our engagement was based on lies, n who knows how many times n for how long??!! Of course he told me only once.. but I didn't believe it.. So now, I'm turned off, n I'm jus not happy, n question everything n now the fights begin!!! In June I gave birth, n we fought even worse bc of no sleep n dealing w/ a colicky baby!!!! It was torture!! The fights became vicious n he started verbally n emotionally abusing me!!! This was going on for 6 months, then he began to get physically abusive towards me, a few times..  But then the physical abuse stopped bc I found out I was pregnant again!!! N this time it was not planned, n now I don't know what to do..  bc at the end I knew I was in love w/ him still, n he would apologize.. but I wasn't happy, n I knew that having a baby so close, would cause more stress, but I tried to stay positive..  bc we also had good days, it was a mindfuck!!! The screaming matches continued n so did the emotional abuse.. But Besides my daughter Dave is the only family I have, so I tried to keep it together even though I was dead inside.. I gave birth to my daughter, we were fighting but not as much, bc I was so unhappy I made him unhappy...  He was always asking me if I was cheating n question me all the time!!! When my daughter was 8 weeks old, I found out from playing detective "again" this time he was cheating on me w/ escorts n while I was pregnant (jus once) so all together according to him 3 times, but it was just blow jobs w/ condoms!! This is what he is telling me!! This jus happened 2 weeks ago!!! I kicked him out, now he's back but I won't even kiss him I'm soo hurt n disgusted!!! N he wants to work it out, but he blames me for his cheating bc I dnt cook, u kno every excuse in the book!!! I'm sick to my stomach n the crazy part is, I dnt kno what to do!!! He wants to get married n go to therapy, but he blames me!!! I still love him, despite all the madness n deceit!!! N he is all I have besides my children so I'm super conflicted!!!! Bc I hate him at the same time.. like I said b4 this is one big mindfuck!!! Then he says if I leave him he will take my kids..  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!  P.s.. he cheated w/ 2 escorts after the baby n went to a massage parlor while I was pregnant..