husband passing away?

Question

Ladies I need a opinion my best friends husband of ten years passed away 3 months ago, and she told me today that she slept with a good friend of his last night not once but three times... And I want to be supportive but it kinda rubbed me the wrong way because it wasn't just anyone it was her late husbands best friend... So my question is how long would you ladies wait to sleep with someone if you was in that situation? In my opinion at least a year... ( I'm not going to say anything to her it's her body her dicision)

Answer

Don't judge they might of developed a connection over his loss and it might help with the healing process. Besides, who are we to judge who should be together/sleep together/talk to/or make a life with; that's up to them we are only responsible for who we ourselves are with, no one else.

Answer

It doesn't matter what most people would decide. No one truly knows until they are in that situation anyways. She lost her husband. The last thing she needs is anyone judging her.

Answer

They are probably finding comfort in one another. If they were best friends they may have similar personality traits and that might make her feel like she still has a little bit of her husband.

Answer

Any happiness she can find after her husband's death is good.

Answer

Everyone grieves differently. I'd reserve judgment here. She could be processing it in a different way than you would but she still needs your support.

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To me there is a tremendous difference between sleeping with a trusted friend where there is mutual respect, comfort, sympathy, and quest for grounded glowing sanity in the midst of so much pain vs if she were goi g out partying, or remarrying quickly with disrespect for the departed.

If you haven't been a widow yourself, worked closely with windows, or at least come close to losing your spouse, I don't think you can accurately judge how you would actually feel or respond.

Answer

I have no idea because I've never experienced that kind of grief. Everyone deals with tragedy in different ways and sometimes it goes against what we "expect" as the "norm." Be kind, not judgmental.

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People grieve in different ways and you don't have any right to judge her grief. I get that it's not something you'd do but then I assume you've never been in her situation. Perhaps she felt close to him because he was her husbands friend. Perhaps she trusted him because her husband trusted him. Be there for her, that's all you can do.

Answer

Grief takes us on a path to find comfort and peace. Its challenging and your behaviour or character may change. I would just be there to talk if she needs to and make sure shes coping ok. I agree i wouldn't say anything because if honest its not place to anyhow without sounding rude but your best off keeping out the sex life part as the last thing you need is to be dragged into some messy arguement it will likely cause.

Answer

Not sure actually because I'm not in that situation. I assume she must have needed the physical connection of touching another person. I'd wait however long it was I needed to wait.

husband passing away?

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