Feel so overwhelmed

Just when having 2 healthy babies a boy and a girl now they are 8 years old and 5 years old ..I finally got my time again ..I get baby fever all those emotions I forgot how much I hate my husband who is an un considerate azz..I can be a full time mom and full work and still am the one who had to be there for my kids 24/7 emotionally. .my husband can go out with his friends anytime . While I stay home because I can't find babysitters but now that my kids are older it's easier finding a baby sitter. It was harder when they was babies toddlers. NOW as soon I realize I'm crazy to give this man a 3rd baby knowing I'm the one who is going to get stuck raising 3 kids alone ..his excuse he works hard and he said it's my job as a mom ..I'm soo stupid now I'm pregnant I hate the feeling of getting an abortion cuz I'm killing a baby who doesnt deserve that but doesn't deserve living in a emotional abusive home either ..this suxx I wish I had someone to get me out of baby fever ..and as soon I realize I'm crazy . the day I was going to get back on birth control I find out I'm pregnant . Considering adoption now it's just suxx going threw 9 months of depression and suffering of how unhappy iam. This baby is getting all this stress ..I need a divorce asap with this loser.. I'm 28 now he was my first love at 17 never been with an other man ..thats why I believe I stood with him that long ..felt no other guy can find me attractive which is a lie ..the reason I write this there's need to more awareness how when we are younger we make the dumbest choices and realize it when you are so emotional f@&k up and tired ..and REALIZE YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE THEN BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE NOT HAPPY IN.. Advice to young teenagers find yourselves you don't need a boyfriend to feel pretty or complete. .GO TO COLLEGE LEARN TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY AND FIND OUT WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND UNHAPPY ..I KNOW BEING YOUNG WE THINK WE KNOW IT ALL..BUT WE DON'T..ARE BRAINS AREN'T MENTALLY MATURE IN OUR TEENAGE YEARS UNTIL EARLY 20S. .DON'T LIVE IN THE MOMENT THINK ABOUT ALL THE STRUGGLE FIRST AND FIND THE RIGHT PARTNER AND SUPPORT. GOOD LUCK TO ALL WOMENS. .WE NEED TO LEARN TO LISTEN TO OUR GUT FEELING .