I torture myself with this **updated**

Kelsey • Mom to a beautiful 3 year old little girl and expecting a baby boy. 2 angels in heaven. Married to my best friend ❤
I hate that I am even posting this. I always tell myself to wait. That never happens (apparently). We just had our second miscarriage within 4 months of each other. The last one being only a month ago. I don't necessarily think that I am pregnant, but I randomly got sick earlier so that's why I tested. I always feel like I see something on these tests. It's more than likely my wishful thinking. What do y'all think? 
***update***
HOLY SHIT- I was not expecting this at all, but I hadn't started my period yet so I decided to test again. It's definitely positive this time. Haven't had a period since our last DNC so not sure how far along I'd be. We werent trying or anything this month. This is defiantly a little shocking seeing that the one month I wasn't using OPK's/BBT/ checking CM that we end up pregnant. Thankful, but very nervous! Praying we really get our Rainbow this time around!