take a look inside my head

I sleep a lot. I sleep to get away. When I sleep I can't feel the pain of disappointment. I can't feel that your mad at me. When I sleep it numbs me. It's my runaway without actually running away. I make you mad so easily. I spoil your day so simply. We used to be happy. I used to never make you mad. I used to be enough.  You used to call me beautiful. And when you do say something nice to me now I want to tell the world bc it makes me feel like I've finally done something right... But then you get mad again and push me away. You make me feel so hurt then you tell me it's my fault. I am such a positive person that is always so calm bc I look on the bright side. Your the opposite you dwell on negativity. You get mad when I don't stress out over what you think I should but get mad when I finally do stress out. I get pulled in both directions. So how long until I break? How many tears have to fall? How many nights do I sleep to escape? How many days do I hold my tongue? Since I'm not good enough when will I say enough?