Went in on Sunday for a scheduled induction at 41 weeks. Luckily I did because I started labor an hour after arriving with no additional help from pitocin. My epidural didn't work for more than an hour or two despite have it done twice. On two separate occasions my babies heart rate suddenly dropped and I was so very scared. The second time it happened the doctors swarmed my room and had me whisked off to surgery. My grandmother was crying, my boyfriend was crying, I was in agony and so so terrified. I was intubated without sedation  because of the urgency of the situation and that felt like being suffocated, not to mention my arms were strapped down. And I just so desperately wanted my baby to be ok. Those last few moments before anesthesia took me were pure panic.

The first thing I remember seeing when I woke up was my boyfriend and grandmother sitting together. My man was holding our baby and the relief and joy that felt was unlike anything I'd ever felt in my life and it was so incredible. Apparently my little guy had swam his umbilical cord into a knot and that was what caused the sudden drop in heart rate. Despite the fear I felt during this whole ordeal I can't express how greatful I am to the staff that took care of me, and the surgical team that saved my son's life. When I was finally lucid after the surgery I took the above picture of my son after breastfeeding him. The second picture shows my little man Gunnar Kai and my boyfriend Ryan in the background who was absolutely a rock during the whole thing. I've never felt more love for two people. I can't describe how lucky I feel when I hold that baby in my arms.