episiotomy, do you get a say?

Question

I'm very courious if you get any warning or say if doctors think you may need an episiotomy. I've heard stories from ladies who's doctors preformed this because of possible tearing but the tearing would have healed better or been less destructive than the incision. Or that they may not have torn at all. A little bit of help moving the babies head would have been all they needed. Do they give you an option to decline. I understand there is some instances where it is nessisary. This is honestly the thing I am afraid of most as a FTM!

Answer

Hi Andrea 
I can tell you my own experience with my first child. I'm from the uk. 
I had an episiotomy and a forceps delivery. 
I had been pushing for over an hour. Our midwives tend to work very very hard to try and massage the area and time pushing/contractions to prevent tearing. 
My son's head was not going to fit through so my choice was episiotomy or emergency section as the medical staff were obviously concerned about baby being in the birth canal too long. 
If I had known in more detail what an episiotomy was I would have been terrified. But I was given pain relief and the midwife did a wonderful job with my stitches. I healed quickly and perfectly with no complications.

I've seen comments on here about tearing being better. 
I believe that to be nonsense. 
A clean surgical cut will heal better than allowing the body to rip itself apart. 
Our research here shows women heal better from an episiotomy.

Here, an episiotomy would only be performed if it was necessary. It's not a lazy option for medical staff who just want the baby out  quickly as I've also read.

From my own experience it's nothing to be afraid of and will only be performed if necessary. 
Of course, hopefully you can deliver without one

With you best of luck with delivery

❤️

Answer

I have delivered three times and am pregnant with our fourth. With my first the dr had to cut me because he heard my son's collar bone snap while I was pushing. (My son healed quickly. Just had to adjust how I held him during bf). He sewed me up after I pushed him out. With my second and third child I was fine. No tearing or needing another cut which I had feared since I had heard the spot would be weakened.  Don't stress it, you've go this!

Answer

I had one with #1 and it was fine healed with no issues but I have been researching and asking about it because I heard it was not recommended anymore.

Hubby's cousin is training to be an OB so I asked her what the deal is. She told me that in some cases it is needed but in others it's better to tear naturally (basically you tear only as much as needed). So the doctor's decision to perform one would be based on if the tearing will be really bad and in that case, they'd want more control over the direction and it allows easier stitching as it's a clean cut (she said minor tears are better off without stitching most times).
So the issue is not that episiotomies are not advised like I thought, it's that ROUTINE episiotomies are now not advised. The older school of thought was to do them almost all the time. The newer one is only as needed.
So that's the question you should be asking the person delivering you and you may want to stress to them that you would want it, if needed only. That's what I'm planning to do. I never got a say first time, I just saw the scissors and I thought it was something they always do and I thought at the times that it's better have that stitched and repaired than tear uncontrollably. Only later did I learn that it's not always needed and I guess I'll never know if it was really needed with #1 or just done by default although he was born with a huge head 😂🤔

Answer

I was terrified of this and when I went into labor I told everyone, all the nurses and the doctor NO EPISIOTOMY NO MATTER WHAT. It was really the only big thing I requested. Aside from delayed cord clamping and no eye ointment. Luckily they said they almost never do those anyway because it makes things worse. I tore but it didn't hurt that bad. It just stung a little after when I peed.

Answer

Honestly that would be a great question for your dr. Tell them you don't want it. Also when you get to the hospital when you're in labor, tell them.

Answer

The only thing I worry about is them doing it on the wrong side and me having pooping issues for the rest of my life lol

Answer

My friend didn't get asked, they simply did it. I did tear so i got lucky. Make a birth plan and make sure you talk to your doctor about it, they usually try to follow it to the best of their ability. If you dont say anything then its more likely that they wont ask you and just do what they think is best

Answer

During my sons birth my doctor asked me... He said I will need to cut you to help the baby come out or we can just see what happens... I told him to cut. I would rather have a controlled cut than risk a bad tear.

episiotomy, do you get a say?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey