help?

Question

Okay so last night My bf and I were planning to lose our virginity to each other and well things didn't go as planned. We started of making out and what not, after what I felt was a resonable amount of foreply he puts on the condom and he goes to penetrate me and it just hurt so bad. Like his penis barely went in and just hurt really bad. After two different positions and various failed attempts we called it a night and just cuddled. I don't know what to do I don't think that even counts as sex, any suggestions? 
I just don't think it's supposed to hurt as much

Answer

I had the same exact issue my first several attempts at sex. I knew it was supposed to hurt, but he could not even get it in fully! Same thing continued happening for about two more years. Of course, that was between 2001-2003, so the internet was very limited in their search options, and there weren't any forums like Glow where I could go on and ask.

However, this IS ok. Not everyone responds to losing their virginity in the same way. Since you and your partner had planned this, you were most likely subconsciously thinking of the pain, it this caused you to clench up. Plus, you very well might not have been fully aroused. It takes women longer to get turned on than it does men. Even if you are somewhat wet down there, it may not be enough, especially if it's your first time.

My advice:
Make out with him. Fool around. Do it without saying 'oh, this will lead to sex'. But, keep a condom handy, just incase. When you take the pressure off of yourself, and set out to enjoy the means rather than focusing on the end result, than your body will be more relaxed and aroused, allowing penetration to be far less painful.

Answer

I have the same problem actually me and my boyfriend are both virgins and we've talked about how it's going to go but I know it never goes as planned. I know it has to be like a waterfall down there so that's the only thing that I can say that will help possibly.

help?

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