Craziness after birth

My life is completely crazy right now. When my baby was born my husband started emotionally and psycologically abusing me again. He was insulting me everyday. I had to let him do and say whatever he wanted. He did not help me with the baby at all. I love my husband, but I love my baby so much more. I had to choose between giving my baby a healthy environment to grow or staying with my husband. When he started to become abusive everyday, I got my stuff and left. I strated from zero. I left my friends and everything I had behind. I have protection order agins my husband since March, but I had to go back to him on July. I then decided I loved him, and i wanted to give him the oportunity to be a daddy. EPIC FAIL. I am a single mom now. His family have been harassing me and accusing me of kidnapping our baby. I am working to pay for everything our baby needs and to be able to pay for a lawyer. They have not even asked if the baby needs diapers. I really do not care all I want is to be happy and to give my baby all he needs. I have even stop producing good milk. My milk was awesome, and it is like water now.

I feel alone. I have no friends, but I have other people who have help me. I just needed to vent I guess. I love my son so much, and my biggest fear is to lose him. He is healthy, and he is a happy happy baby. I had to leave because I was afraid. I am safe now, but I have new fears.