My boyfriend watches porn and lies to me about it. I don't like the idea that he loves watching other sexy women cum when I'm usually in the other room and very horny. Now, this being said, I am literally always horny. I think this is probably because we barely have sex...like once or twice a month... He's also never made me cum. I'm not mad at him because nobody I've ever been with has made me cum but it hurts more when I find out that he's ignoring me so he can pleasure himself into his hand or god-knows-where. I'm not mad. I masturbate a lot, obviously. I only get jealous at the fact that he's watching gorgeous women commit the act in which I always want to be doing. It's not a matter of one of us isn't in the mood. He just doesn't want to do it with me. Back to the "he's never made me cum" I only just recently told him this after I wanted to have sex really bad one night and he was ignoring me. (We've been together nearly a year) this is very wrong on my part. I knew that it was difficult to make me cum and I kinda just ended up faking occasionally so he thought that maybe every other time I came. I feel really bad for not telling him but also I feel like I held a extra secret resentment toward him for not having sex with me and when he does, I don't finish. This never bothered me, considering the fact that I'm the only person who's made myself cum, by it's still in my head. Anyway when I really wanted to have sex he was ignoring me and he got up to use the bathroom and for once left his phone. I went to his search history like I have many times and saw just that day he had looked up numerous videos of Katie Cummings and various other sexy women that I will never look like. Fetishes like teens with braces or fucking your coworkers. I could just think "he picks this over me, nearly every day of his life when I'm at work or school or even in the other room. This is what he wants, not me" I know I need to stop being insecure about it and just deem him normal man.. I just can't bring myself to think that. Especially when he's lied to me about it for the whole time that I've known him. He even blamed it on his brother. It just hurts. It seems that there is no way for me to stop feeling this way.