tmi issue

So I have an itchy anus LOL. Every time I poop it itches sooooo bad. And I poop literally all the time. Even when I feel like I don't have to poop, I go to pee and I poop. And it's not solid whatsoever. So I itch myself sometimes so hard I bleed. But the weird thing is, when I itch it painfully feels good. It's like an itch you've been dying to scratch. So I don't know what to do. I can't really go to the doctor at the moment because I don't have insurance until January and I'm also kinda embarrassed and don't want my butthole looked at lol. #awkward help me please 😭