12dpo testing

So glow say today I can test. I'm 12dpo and I don't want to be let down again. Bay want it so bad and his birthday coming up on the 18th got me second guessing. Maybe AF will show up. This my 2nd cycle trying for baby#1 and it already sort of what got me in my bag. AF not DUE til 12/6. I have a 30 day cycle. Today makee cycle day 28 for me. Which I should hit the 30th day Monday. Which means a new cycle starts Tuesday. HOPEFULLY AF decide to go live with someone else because we want our BFP'S for Christmas!!!!!!!!