ex boyfriend :/

okay so last year i went out with this guy. we. were 13 at the time, please don't tell me that we were too young to fall in love or know what love is but i promise you this was different than any other middle school relationship. we went out for about 6 months and then we broke up, first i was really sad and upset, then i felt nothing, then i felt anger, only anger. i dont want to talk about how i handled my anger but it definitely wasn't anything im proud of now. i didn't want anything to do with him until one day i was told by one of my teachers that he had been in an accident, he was hit by a car. and in that second every emotion id been blocking came rushing back to me. he almost died, he was very very lucky. soon after that i became very depressed and i barely left my room , and i was distant from everyone. cared about. i spent alot of time at the hospital while he was there, and thats when we got back together . weeks later he became very distant from me and one night he called me and told me he didn't remember much of anything that happened between us because he was on too much medication. i became depressed, even worse than before , its been 6 months since all this happened and im still not happy, better but not great. the experience of it all make it that much harder. i didnt mean to make this a sob story but i need to know what to do because the loneliness and depression is destroying me. we have recently started talking again and we've decided that we both still have very strong feelings for one another but i dont know if i should allow him back into my life because i dont want to hurt like i did before again, even though i know that this would make me happy right now.