Need some prayers

I'm currently 38weeks and 5days. My due date is on December 24th. I have been working so hard to fight with my doctor (who's not Vbac friendly. I found out at 35ws after she lead me on)  for a Vbac delivery. This will be my 3rd pregnancy and I had 2 previous Csections. the first I was induced at 40w 4days (mind I was 17, didn't know shit about birth and was taken advantage of) and in less then 10hrs (at 4 centimeters) my doctor gave up on me and forced/bullied me into a c-section. 2nd pregnancy was a repeat (my bumb ass kept the same doctor) but I ended up having preeclampsia and had to have an emergency C-section at 30 weeks. This time around I was "High risk" due to the preeclampsia, I have been checked top to bottom, seen High risk doctors plus everything in the blue moon and this time I'm as healthy as it can be. I've only gained like 20 pounds and have no signs of preeclampsia at all. So they ruled it out. Mind I check my blood pressure like 4 times a day and it has been good since the beginning. Anyway, my doctor told me since the first time I seen her that she'll let me do the Vbac if I have NO signs of preeclampsia and it's an all natural birth (No induction) which is what I wanted for my first birth. At 35 weeks she told me that it's to risky and that she had scheduled me a C-section for the 19th of this month. Why she though it was risky, idk. But I looked around to change doctors (or switch to a midwife) and no one wanted to take me because I was to far along. I did my research, joined support groups, joined ICAN, learned everything I can and for my 37week appointment when I saw her again I finally put my foot down and said I wasn't going to do the c-section. Mind you I payed it down and even my mom said "she didn't even know what to say because I knew what I was talking about". She said she'll let me do my Vbac but she was NOT helping. She said she'll give me till my due date and won't let me go over and if anything she'll schedule my C-section for the 26th. (Which is my oldest daughter's birthday) mind you I told her that was her birthday multiple times and she said she won't let me go past that 🙄 then she was like "I doubt that you will dilate on your own because your first pregnancy you weren't even a centimeter when they induced you." I went to the hospital about a week ago and they said I was all softened and thinned out but closed and not dilated and when she checked me that day she was like "oh in my opinion your not even half way thinned out." Like to discourage me that I couldnt do this! I even motioned Non-medical ways of induction and other options and she told me that she wouldn't do that and that I'm on my own. I'm just pissed. I suffer from Anxiety/depression and this shit has been keeping me up for the last 4 days. Mind you I don't even get 3/4hrs of sleep at night because of this, then to get up soo early to take care of my girls and have the same routine every day and be completely exhausted. I'm on the fence here and just thinking about taking the RPSC because she downed me soo much yet I have this fight in me to get the birth i want/deserve. She screwed my head with this and I feel like I'm not giving my girls all my energy/love and focusing on this Vbac like I should. My husband is on vacation this week so I'm happy I can take a break to relax a little but it's killing me that My doctor basically was like "well fuck you, your on your own!" I just need some prayers, advice, anything really! Idk what to do.