one and done?

Question

I always said I was one and done. We weren't even trying to get pregnant when we found out about our son. In fact, we had decided we didn't want kids bc our life was so perfect and we didn't want change.

Surprise!!

Well now that I suffered through 8 miserable months of pregnancy and 3 1/2 months of a colicky baby I really don't want to do this again. 
My husband had agreed to a vasectomy because my IUD fell out and I can't go on oral contraceptives because I have NO sex drive on them. He's willing to get snipped if it means we have a normal sex live.

But everyone else keeps saying "don't do it! You'll change your mind and decide you want another!"

My personal trainer even told me it's selfish to have only one kid!

Does anyone else feel like they're one and done? I don't want to put my body and mind through this again for any reason other than I want another child. Having a child so another child has a sibling seems like an absurd reason to have another one.

Anyone here an only child? Do you wish you had siblings?

Thanks!

Answer

I am an only child and I was never lonely, I had cousins similar to my age and my mum and Dad ALWAYS let me have my friends from school round. I had a lovely childhood, just do what's best for your family!

Answer

I never pictured myself having any children of my own, at 26 that changed and I love my child more than life itself. I knew from the moment I met my child that she was my 1 and only. She has many cousins all her age and tons of family.. I deeply feel she will never feel lonely. Growing up i had a brother n sister that didn't benefit me in anyway, I always felt like an only child in home of 3 children, which is a way worse feeling. Knowing many people around u that depend on their siblings, are very close n comfortable, tight nit..the way my brother n sister treated me and eachother, we all were horrible examples of siblings. We all have children the same age now so that has brought us together but the issues are still the same it's embarrassing to those outside our family. butwould of gladly been an only child given the negative experience I went threw.

Answer

I'm an only child. I would tell my friends when I was a kid i wish I had a brother or sister. They always said no you don't your so lucky you don't have to deal with this/or that. I had cousins who were close in age that I spent a lot of time with growing up so they were like siblings to me but it's a different story when your not living under the same roof.

I was a colicky baby. Don't know if on some level that had an influence on my parents decision to only have one.

My husband and i plan on having more than one. It's going to be a learning experience for me! I'm not sure what to expect!

Answer

I was scheduled to have my tubes tied 11 years ago. Two days before the surgery I changed my mind and got an IUD best decision of my life. My daughter will be 3 months the day after Christmas. I couldn't imagine my life without her. My other daughter is 18 lol

Answer

I think if your child is being raised around  someone their age may be nephew or neice they will not feel that they are lonely. My son felt very lonely and always complained how he had no siblings. We really felt guilty then, that is why we decided to have another one after 6years, 2 years of ttc 8 years age gap and my son is happy like he has never been. Although we did not wanted another child we had it for our kid and me and my husband think we did a right thing and our family feels fuilfilled. This is just my experience though and what we went through.

Answer

I dont think it's selfish. Not everyone is cut from the same cloth, and you know what's best for your family.  My husband says he would be ok with one, even hesitant to talk about a second. I'm pretty dead set on a second,  but I'm already 32, so who knows how things will work out.

I wasn't an only child,  we had 4 kids in my family.  BUT , my mother was definitely not built for more than one kid (2 at the most). Because of this, she checked out if being a mother when I was young.  We all had a rough time (brother is an alcoholic with mental issues, one sister is just plain dumb). Both my  sisters were teenage moms. I'm the only one with a high school dilploma, let alone a college degree.  I don't know why she decided to have more children,  but to me,  that was probably the most selfish thing she could have done.

Answer

I'm pretty sure we're one and done! I didn't enjoy pregnancy and I had a pretty rough postpartum experience, and I honestly don't have any desire to go through it again! I love my daughter more than anything, and she is 100% enough for me :)

Answer

I thought I was only going to have one (a surprise also) bust nearly 7 years later I had my second (planned). Sometimes you do change your mind and sometimes you don't. You never know how you will feel down the road.

Answer

When my husband and I were dating he wanted 3 kids but now he has changed his mind! 😂😂😂

We are first time parents to a 3 month old baby girl! I had the IUD put in and we BOTH agree that we are "one and done!" Granted I had a very easy and smooth pregnancy but my labor was hell! I had to be induced and gave birth at 41 weeks! Not only was I in labor for more than a day but I ended up getting an unplanned C section. The days following my deliverly was hell. Never again!! I'm still traumatized!

I am an only child but my husband isn't-- he has a sister that is 4 years younger than him. Growing up, I was content with being an only child and never felt lonely-- I had a cousin my age that I played with a lot and we were close (I was close to his older brother too). My husband and I have plenty of nieces and nephews that our daughter can play with as well as our friends kids and best of all my God daughter and my baby girl are only a year apart.

The only people who are really pushing us to have more are his elderly aunts because they want us to have a boy who can carry on his last name (we're Chinese, boys are heavily favored for this reason 🙄). Luckily my husband doesn't believe in that bullshit and neither do my parents in law.

One of my biggest pet peeve is when people are constantly telling me I'll change my mind! Like no. I don't think so!

Answer

I hate being an only child and begged my parents for a sibling when I was younger. Sure as a kid I had other kids close in age to me to hang out with but they arent available all the time and my parents had to work a lot so I spent a lot of time alone or with one parent or the other. 
Now as an adult it still sucks. I wont have anyone else to help once my parents start getting older and ultimately pass away. When my parents are gone it will just be me.

For me, my experience as an only child led to me always saying IF I had any children I would try for more than one, so that they could have each other and I could have that bigger family experience. I had my daughter 4 months ago and Im already planning when to try for a sibling for her.

one and done?

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