long story

It's been a long road but I finally did it yesterday. I left my husband. For the past two years it's been nothing but verbal, emotional, mental and sometimes physical abuse. I am 20 and shouldn't be as depressed as I am. August 2015 I lost my oldest sister at 25 which really hit me hard. She left six kids behind, all under the age of 10. Then in September 2015 I miscarried which did nothing but push me down into depression more. Never once did he support me through any of it. Actually since the miscarriage I've heard nothing but "It is your fault we don't have our baby" "God gave you one job. To be a parent. You couldn't even do that right. Terrible parent. Terrible wife." I heard it so much I actually started believing it. He would tell me things like he should have cheated when he had the chance. He would make me believe that no one but him had my best interest at heart. And as I kept hearing it more and more I started believing it. Pulled myself away from my family and my friends. I shared with my friends some of the problems but he told me to stop doing that because they didn't need to know my business so I did. I wanted to try and make him happy. He would tell me I needed to sleep on the floor with the dog. On my 20th birthday he tried strangling me. He would have succeeded if it was only me and him. Thankfully three of his friends were there to pull him off of me. We live in Nebraska so the winters are really cold. And last winter I had to run from his moms apartment to the nearest business barefoot because he broke my phone so I couldn't call anyone to come and get me and he dragged me by my arm through the apartment hallways because I tried to leave. Threw all my clothes over the balcony. His mom said nothing. So when he turned his back I ran as fast as I could until I seen a business with the light on. I tried to leave before now but I would always come back because he would tell me he was going to counseling and how sorry he was and how he really did love me. He would also tell me I never really loved him if I could leave so easily. And since I called the police on him before that meant I didn't love him. I believed him and I looked past all the bad because I really believed he loved me. It wasn't until one of my friends who was being physically abused posted on facebook two days ago "if he will hit you, he will kill you. Get out" that it really registered in my head that I needed to leave or that would be my fate. When he left for work yesterday morning I told my mom to come and get me. I texted him and said I was leaving and all he texted back was "the best thing to come out of this relationship was you losing that baby you stupid a** b****. God knew you weren't ready for a baby. And that's why you aren't getting pregnant now, all the people are age having babies and you can't carry one. If you leave don't come back. You should have killed yourself since you are so depressed." In the same instance he said "baby I'm so sorry. I love you. We should do counseling." I texted him back and said "no I believe God knew you weren't the man for me, thats why I couldn't keep the baby and that's why he won't allow me to carry another one at the moment. But believe this, once he sends me the man I'm supposed to be with he will bless me with a child" and I packed my stuff up and left. I confessed to my mom everything and now I'm here living with her, my sisters, and my sister (who passed away) kids until I get back on my feet. I feel great to be alive and at my moms. The hard part of leaving is over and now I just have to stay gone. Thanks for letting me share my story.