Family problems plz help

Hi eve ladies, about a year ago my father was murdered. We didn't have the best relationship but we still loved each other. I'm really hurt because I didn't even get to go to the trial nor his funeral. I'm his only child and I couldn't even get his wallet. It's all because of his mother. He told me a long time not to talk to her (his mother). Now she's trying to talk to me. Honestly I'm scared to talk to her because I don't have time to build a relationship and have her die or cast me to the side like she did my father. What should I do. P.S I'm only 14